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Things ain't ever simple, eh?

[He watches her keenly, frowning. He's not sure what this particular meeting his about, but he'll let her get to it in her own time.]

D'accord. You want t' talk about it?

[ Does she? She has come all the way to him, almost immediately. But there's still parts she's not sure about, parts that aren't hers to tell entirely. Secrets she's eternally determined to keep. She sighs. ]

Something happened, I pushed myself down, but it left me feeling like I was losing myself again. Like the psi war with the Shadow King, when I...

[ well, when she got tricked into losing control and nearly destroying every psychic out there. when she caused so much pain to so many others. ]

Maybe all I'm good at is the destroying part of things.

[His frown deepens as she speak, and he's stuck trying to pick through the vague things she isn't saying.]

Sounds like dere's more to it dan dat, cher. Least ways, dere's a lot you ain't sayin'.

[ She shrugs. ]

I'm an assassin. That's what he made me, doesn't that mean there's always something I'm not saying?

[ Ironic that she'd always wanted to be a warrior and then she got to be one and it wasn't of her own choosing. Just as someone else's tool. X-Force wasn't that different, was it? They were Logan's tool then. Warren made her his tool. Even Scott sends her out as nothing more than a tool. And she's fine with it, or so she tells herself. ]

Always secrets I have to keep.

[ She pauses for a moment as their alcohol gets brought to them and takes a drink. Sighs deeply. ]

You saw Warren and I together over the years. After I was turned. After he was turned. Do you know how many times he walked away from me? Claimed I couldn't do anything for him?

[He's quiet through her meandering commentary. There's something she's dancing around, something specific, and he's starting to things it's directly related to the state she's in, physically. It's obvious it's why she'd said she'd needed him.

So he's patient, waiting for her to get to the point, not forcing the issue. When she mentions Warren, though, he shakes his head.]

Can't say I kept count, Betsy.

Neither did I. [ Maybe she should have. Then when he came back around that last time she might have known better. Seen it would go the exact same way once again. The heart wants what the heart wants though. It's always been him. For so many years, through so many things, it's always been him. Even here, if she had the chance again, it'd be him. ]

Something reminded me of him tonight. Of all of that. All we went through just to fail in the end. [ Just for her to fail again. Over and over. She looks out, distant, rubs her shoulder where a scratch is, checks her hand to see if it's still bleeding. Doesn't seem to be. That's a plus at least. ] I feel guilty, it's even about the person that made me remember. [ He's...well, she's not sure what he is and her mind isn't...really on him anymore. It's stuck in the past. ] But I'm still...I still feel like I'm back there again. In Warren's mind as he shut me out. Time and time again. Like I was just...never enough.

[ He frowns as he lets her finish, running his finger idly around the rim of his whiskey glass thoughtfully.]

Dis got anything ta do wit' dat homme you been talkin' to?

[ She sighs and looks down into her own glass. ] Not entirely. I suppose you could say he re-opened wounds I'd been trying to keep closed. [ Perhaps it's not even entirely fair of her to say that. It's her own fault that the wounds have festered so, isn't it? That hardly changes how bad it feels to simply feel so raw, so lost in the things she hasn't given herself space to really feel. ]

I wanted to lash out, at having to feel these things after trying so hard to push them down. We can't afford to lash out though, can we? People like us.

[ Because something small can so easily become something huge with their powers. Particularly hers. So, they just have to keep it bottled up inside. ]

It's not about affordin' it, cher. [But it was, in a way. She could cause widespread devastation, both to the area and to the minds of anyone around her if she fully lost control of her abilities, but that didn't mean she didn't need to process everything that had happened. It would go a long way to negate the risk of something like that happening.]

Tampin' it down's causin' de problem. You gotta let it go, Betsy. It's gonna choke ya, no matter what else happens.

Mm, but it is, isn't it? At least for me. I can't afford to just let go. My job is to help others, not to make my problems theirs.

[ So, it's easier to keep it inside. Put their problems first constantly and never let it show how much they may hurt her. ]

I'm sorry. [ She sighs and looks off for a moment. ] I'll be alright, always am.

Ain't nobody gave you dat job but you, Betsy.

[He shook his head.]

Now why you apologizin'? We friends, non? You need ta talk, dat's what I'm here for.

And Logan. He recruited me to watch Warren and the entire team. [ The weakest of smiles is given there. It's probably the most forced thing that's ever actually existed. ]

At least mutants can always count on mutants. I think I'd count on Erik before the men here.

[He frowns at that information. That sounds like Logan.]

Ain't de sort of thing that should fall on one person.

[But who is he to judge, really?]

You can count on Erik for a lot. [But the begrudging look on his face says he doesn't think any of those things are good things to count on.]

How many of de men here you met?

Mm. [ That's the only response he'll get about that. She disagrees with it being too much for one person and just wants to let it go at that. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knows it's too much, but at the end of the day isn't being telepathic in general just a bit too much?

She shrugs. ]

One too many.

[Too many people take telepaths for granted in his opinion, still, he'll let it go. She wants to, and he knows better than to push too much with her.

Instead, he chuckles, raising an eyebrow.]

One too many, eh?

[ She shrugs and finally just...sighs. Not sure how to explain things, if she wants to, what she wants to. ]

I mentioned that man I was screwing. Things got...complicated. More intimate than I intended. We both expressed trepidation about that but...

[ Why was it always so stupidly complicated for her? Not just her, it seemed as though that was just the destiny of people like them. ]

Warren and I used to joke when things were going too well, that we were just waiting for the next dramatic revelation that would ruin everything.

[ So why would she think this place would be any different? Stupid to have really, in hindsight. ]

He was more understanding than any human I've met about my powers, generous enough to lie and say I was enough for him, and to suggest maybe we didn't have to keep running from the situation. Turns out neither of us are really meant for that though. I'd say I can't take back mistakes like that but I suppose I could just erase myself from his mind. [ Does the thought occur to her, yes, yes it does. ]

'Cept he was stupid if he thought you wouldn't know he was lyin'. [Except Remy was pretty sure that wasn't the case, and it was Betsy who might be doing the lying, to herself.

He frowns, shaking his head.]

You really wanna do dat, cher?

I don't know what he wants and I'm not risking myself to someone like that again.

[ It comes out before she can stop herself and she immediately regrets it. But what's said can't be unsaid. So, she just continues on. ]

Not after how it always was with Warren. I'm not going to be the idiot trying to make something work with someone who doesn't want it all over again.

D'accord, dat's fair, Betsy. [But he noticed the implication.]

But...what did you want?

[ She downs her entire drink right then and just shrugs. Another problem right there, she's not sure. At all. ]

I don't know. I thought all I wanted was a distraction. Every time it got close to thinking about more than that I just...decided to not think too much on it. Pretty sure he does the same.

Well, it ain't gonna feel like anythin' close ta closure unless ya look at it.

[ She narrows her eyes at him, not really wanting logic at the moment. Or to think about it all. Or to think about anything. ]

When I look at it all I see is a disaster waiting to happen. [ Which is...the truth. ] Perhaps there were moments where I entertained a thought or two of it being more, but it's seemed like every time it's gotten close to talking about that he runs off. Or I pull away.

Sometimes things work out dat way. [He shrugs.] Maybe it ain't time, or maybe you two ought to sit and talk. [He smiles.] An' I know he's de one who left, an' you ain' obligated ta listen if he crawls back.

Objectively I understand why he felt the need to leave. [ And she's not going to go into it. But objectively she does...get it. ] Like I did when Warren needed space after things with Archangel. [ About as close as she'll get to an explanation. Which also hints at just how much it bothered her--more because she's been reminded freshly of those wounds. ]

I can't see it mattering either way. I'm fairly certain I'm not something he wants to get too close to and that...well, I can't really blame him. [ She shrugs ] Still...I can't say it wasn't nice to feel like enough for a moment.

[He can accept that, and respect her respect for this guy's privacy.]

Hey, now, Bets. Yo' enough. Jus' 'cause dis homme is blind don't change dat.

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